indecent composure

 Posted by on 2010-07-29 at 04:05  Editorial  Comments Off on indecent composure
Jul 292010

[brought to you by a sudden, world-wide decrease in both size and capability of your sexual organs]

Okay, it’s difficult to know exactly where to begin on this one…

Your penis is too small.

A hypothetical couple returns home from an evening out.  The woman is sexually interested, but the man is too drunk to rise to the occasion.  Lame.

Some lame douche gets lucky at a bar and, inebriated, gets to escort some hottie home.  The deed is over within a couple of minutes and she lays there, unfulfilled and wondering what better selection she might have missed at that last water hole.  Sorry, sweetheart.

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VIDEO: SHODAN a Search Engine for Penetration Testers (The Next HOPE)

 Posted by on 2010-07-19 at 21:14  Events, Hacking, Internet, Technology, Video  Comments Off on VIDEO: SHODAN a Search Engine for Penetration Testers (The Next HOPE)
Jul 192010

This weekend at The Next HOPE conference Michael “theprez98” Schearer, a security researcher, gave a very interesting talk about SHODAN. SHODAN is a search engine which searches “banners” of systems. This means it’s basically a search engine of services on the internet. For example, with SHODAN you can find all servers running a specific version of Apache in a specific country. You also have the ability to export results in XML for a nominal fee. Check out the video of theprez98’s talk below. You can also find the slide-deck for theprez’s talk here. Please check your ethics before misusing SHODAN.

SHODAN for Penetration Testers (The Next Hope) from theprez98 on Vimeo.

Lockpick Wizard Competition at The Next HOPE

 Posted by on 2010-07-19 at 08:58  Events, Hacking, Mobile, the w0rd, Video  Comments Off on Lockpick Wizard Competition at The Next HOPE
Jul 192010

This past weekend was The Next HOPE (Hackers on Planet Earth) conference presented by 2600 Magazine. I myself am an avid lock enthusiast and enjoy the challenge of manipulating locks. Below is a video of the Lockpick Wizard competition sponsored by Locksport International. The object of the competition was to pick as many locks as possible in 8 minutes, while unable to see the locks and tools. Contestants had to place their tools and locks inside the burlap sack and pick away. The second round was done blindfolded. In hindsight I wish I’d have joined in the fun, but alas I chose to be a spectator on this one and record the spectacle. (Please forgive the blue tint in the video… apparently Qik is broken on the iPhone 4 at this time. I hope they fix it soon.)


 Posted by on 2010-07-16 at 18:37  Editorial  Comments Off on indignance
Jul 162010

[Caution: inhaling this product will make you stupid.]

Let us begin with a short tale of a situation that undoubtedly occurs a countless number of times throughout this country on any given day or night…  All names used are fictional for two reasons: 1.) I don’t know the actual names of any of these people, and, even if I did, 2.) I’m not entirely without tact.

Sharon is in her early thirties, a middle class mother-to-be showing approximately six months of pregnancy. As she enters the grocery store where I am currently purchasing items, she has two teenage girls trailing her all the way to the beer cooler.

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Jul 132010

I was searching all over for a decent dial-up modem ringtone for my iPhone for the longest time, but just couldn’t find one that I liked. So I decided to make my own. It was a major pain in the ass. Seeing as how I haven’t used a dialup modem since around the year 2000, and I only had one system that still has a dial-up modem. Then I had to find a dialup service to test with. Then record. Then edit. Then convert. But after much doing and a little geeking out, the result is 10 seconds of retro goodness that will make your friends jealous. I settled on this 10 second slice as my favorite in the modem handshake sequence. I think it makes the best ringtone and is the perfect length too.

So go ahead and download my freshly made 56k Dialup Modem Handshake Ringtone for your iPhone. Once you’ve downloaded the ringtone simply double click and it will be imported into iTunes as a ringtone. Enjoy!

UPDATE: as requested in the comments below, here is a 56k Modem Ringtone in .mp3 format for Android users as well. Go nuts.

Jul 052010

The Next H.O.P.E.” is the next installment in the biennial H.O.P.E. (Hackers on Planet Earth) series of conferences. H.O.P.E. takes place every 2 years at the Hotel Pennsylvania in the heart of New York City. HOPE is sponsored by the magazine 2600: The Hacker Quarterly. There have been seven conferences to date: HOPE, Beyond HOPE, H2K, H2K2, The Fifth HOPE, HOPE Number Six, and The Last HOPE. This year’s event takes place from July 16th – 18th, 2010.

I tried to find a Google Calendar format of the schedule for this year’s talks. However I was unable to find such a format. I’ve painstakingly created the following calendar based on my interests and talks that I would like to attend. This is not a complete schedule of the conference. I’m too lazy to turn the whole schedule in to a Google Calendar, however I may do so before the actual conference… we shall see. Use as you will if you wish.

You can view the full schedule by visiting: The Next Hope schedule