[brought to you by a sudden, world-wide decrease in both size and capability of your sexual organs]

Okay, it’s difficult to know exactly where to begin on this one…

Your penis is too small.

A hypothetical couple returns home from an evening out.  The woman is sexually interested, but the man is too drunk to rise to the occasion.  Lame.

Some lame douche gets lucky at a bar and, inebriated, gets to escort some hottie home.  The deed is over within a couple of minutes and she lays there, unfulfilled and wondering what better selection she might have missed at that last water hole.  Sorry, sweetheart.

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